Funerals and Birthdays

The day started at six, feeling groggy from a nasty cold that wanted me to go back to bed, I forced myself up. First I had to wake youngest son,who wanted to get some last minute revision in,for his biology exam today. Next the dogs needed their early morning scoot around the block for a wee. Coffee for son,who appeared to be auditioning for The Walking Dead. First rounds of chicken, sausage rolls and chipolatas into the oven. Hubby RC set about grating cheese and thinly slicing tomatoes and cucumber. A lovely card from RC with Boofle the knitted dog on, a favourite of mine. Chocolate and a gorgeous little lidded Le Creuset soup bowl.
 Then onto frying till crisp,tiny pieces of bacon,that will be added to cream cheese  and chives to make a filling for the tiny tortilla wraps. BIL cannot eat bread. Prawns,lettuce and sauce, then southern spiced chicken with mayonnaise and finely shredded lettuce. I'm sure he will be pleased. Youngest son gurgles something unintelligible, last bit birthday and thrusts envelope into my hand. Lovely card with "mum" and elephants playing peek a boo round the letters. Inside card, beautiful silver elephant earrings that I will wear today at FIL's funeral.
 I am a bit of a perfectionist, so when RC says the sandwiches wont fit on the trays as I wanted them too, I tell him it's because I cut the crusts to make them symmetrical. He looks dispondent at the thought of the extra work involved,but my OCD is telling me this is necessary, so I take to doing sandwiches and he switches to wraps.Soon the fridge is overloaded with trays that are garnished and looking pretty.Best china is washed and placed on the table with serviettes. My daughter emerges in her pyjamas and I set her to work putting my china cake stand together. Once carrot and cucumber sticks have been arranged around the houmous in a pretty blue and white china dish, there is time to have a coffee, while I wait for the garlic bread to cook. Youngest daughter is itching to give me her presents. First is the shampoo that I have been searching for, for ages. "Just a silly present". she says. The next is a rather nice sized box wrapped in pink polka dots. I open the top and peak inside. I'm overwhelmed by her thoughtfulness and generosity and burst into tears. You see for many years when things were really hard for us I coveted a beautiful red kettle that I imagined would sit perfectly on my range. But this thing of beauty was beyond my financial means, years later and out of debt with savings, I still could not feel comfortable spending such a large amount on something we didn't exactly need. I often would check when there was a sale, but it still bothered me how much it was. My daughter knowing that I would never treat myself, had taken it upon herself and just bought it. It may sound very sad to think an item like this would bring such pleasure and some people may have preferred jewellery or perfume. But to me it is a dream come true. It has pride of place in my kitchen and it will make dealing with FIL's funeral today so much easier, thinking how thoughtful it was.
  Today was a happy and a sad day all rolled into one. MIL who has been stoic since FIL passed,was overcome at the sight of his coffin. We sat in the chapel and I cuddled her up tight. I was so worried, as she seemed so broken. But then RC stepped up to do his eulogy and as he read MIL smiled and nodded, people laughed, the feeling in the chapel lifted. I was so proud of RC, his speech encompassed all aspects of his father's life and his long battle with mental illness, with love and kindness. Anecdotes from childhood were shared and brought laughter. By the time he was finished MIL was uplifted and renewed. I felt as though we could draw a line under those difficult years, say goodbye with a good feeling about him and move on. Thankyou RC. 
  There were rather a lot of people who made their way to the wake. I must have made a hundred cups of tea. BIL insisted on giving me lessons in how to make his cup of coffee just how he liked it. I spent all my time in the kitchen, making tea, a captive audience for Great Uncle Frank, who likes to be near the food. My daughter and aunt in law helped me wash and dry cups and plates to keep the table stocked. All in all a very successful day. BIL2 spoke to me in a civil manner, at least that seems a bit better, but Custard, our lab still growled at him at every opportunity. I'm afraid SIL still blatently snubbed me quite rudely,at the graveside. But what the hell, do I care? No the woman's a kook. Sorry slip of temper. It obviously still gets up my nose. So I stayed in the kitchen with Uncle Frank and pretended he hadn't told me all this at Christmas.Later SIL left after hugging RC and being oh so sweet. But it just slipped her mind to say goodbye. This is getting cynical and I'm trying not to go down that road.
  So now I am back to my birthday and having white wine, lemonade and orange juice all mixed up together in a big glass.Tying to fight off the lurgy,which is trying to take over and rob me of the last few hours left of my birthday.Goodnight everyone, I'm going to get another drink.